Held

When I used to think of orphans, I thought of little children who had been abandoned and were therefore very sad, shy, and maybe a bit bitter. That's very blunt, but it's what I thought. The first night we were there in China, we walked into a home for orphans and then a room full of special needs children. I was about to be surprised. Most of the kids came right to us, open arms and all smiles, ready to play and have fun with their new friends. We played for a while with the kids and were about to leave for dinner, but one little boy wanted to be held one more time. As I picked him up and held him, I thought about how if I could, I would have held him forever. I would have given anything to hold him and be there for him always. God gently spoke in that moment, as I held this boy, "that's how I feel about you." This child wanted and needed to be held. He had scars, he was an orphan and he didn't speak my language, the second he reached out his arms to me, nothing else mattered but holding him.
To many times we see our situations and pasts as too much and let it hold us back and shut us off from others. We become afraid, maybe bitter or prideful, we get discouraged. But the awesome thing is that if we reach out just like the little guy I met, God will reach down and pick us up, hold us, love us, and give the hope we need to get through. It doesn't matter if we're scarred, if we don't have the perfect words. We are never to fragile or to broken to be held by him who is waiting for us to reach out and accept him as Lord and Father. We've all been orphaned by all the mistakes and pain, but He is waiting for us to let Him into our souls and be the Father to us that He gave everything to be.

Where it all Began

A little over three weeks ago I boarded a plane and left for a two week mission to China. I was with a team through Shaohannah's Hope, we were there to see and help care for the orphans of China. I wasn't sure what to expect, what to do or hope to accomplish, I just knew that God wanted me there and that there were kids who needed someone.
My parents adopted kids from Guatemala. They're amazing. My mom and I went there to bring them home and finalize everything. It was a beautiful country from what I saw, but there was a lot of poverty like I'd never seen before. What I saw in Guatemala broke my heart. I was uncomfortable there, completely out of my sheltered, self-centered comfort zone. As we were driven through the streets of the city from the airport to our hotel, I wished I was anywhere but there, God spoke quietly to my heart in that moment and said, "Don't look away." A painful and vulnerable reality hit me there, that I need to see the pain in others and let my heart break for them. It's certainly easier and feels safer to turn away from the need in another life, and it's not always 'convenient' to take a moment and help another person. But we are meant to feel compassion, to let our hearts break and pour out the love we have inside.
That's where it started, taking my eyes off the floor of a vehicle and looking out the window into streets where there is poverty. It wasn't fun, like you think of a trip to a foreign country would be, but it was the spark that started something in my life. There are millions of kids all over the world who are orphans, there is poverty all around us if we would only take our eyes off the 'floors' in our lives and have the guts to see it, then do something about it.
So here I am, back in the States. I feel so different from when I left for China, and so much happened that I'm excited to tell about.