It's Christmas in one day...... stop, yes.... ONE DAY! How crazy it that? 2008 has gone by so fast. I want to share a devo/excerpt from my journal after China. I shared this with my youth group on my day to lead a short devotion and prayer time on our mission trip. Yes, it does have something to do with Christmas.
I learned a lot about pride through going to China, something I never, ever thought I would have to learn about. But I found that I had a lot of self to get rid of before I was even close to becoming more like Christ.
the devo
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. -Philippians 2:5-7
When we focus on ourselves, we lose sight of Christ' love, faithfulness and glory etc. If we don't surrender this flesh from the inside out, it will block out our Savior and his love, it will never be real to us and how can we give what we have refused ourselves? When we don't die to this flesh, or sin nature, whatever you call it, our lives will never be what they were meant to be. This flesh causes sin, and sin keeps us from God. The challenge is this; can we let go of this life, and the temptations of it, and live after the life of Christ?
It's not easy to deny ourselves and chase after a life that's often beyond our understanding , but if we are going to follow after Christ one of the first steps in definitely humility.
Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every thing that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
-Hebrews 12:1-2
This Christmas, my prayer is to remember what this time of year really represents, our Savior and King humbling himself to come and live as a man, and die for our sins. If the perfect Son of God could humble himself that much out of love for a sinful and fallen people, is it so much for us to lay aside our desires and focus on his desires, to 'fix our eyes on Jesus'? As we close out this year and begin a new one, let's pray and open our hearts to Love, focus our eyes on Jesus and be his hands and feet. We give out so many material gifts this time of the year, but don't forget to give the lasting ones that money could never buy, return all those stressed out angry comments with kindness, skip over the gossip, toss that change in the Salvation Army bucket, pray and comfort those who will spend Christmas with one less loved one this year, and remember with thankfulness and humility how much joy and hope we have to share. God bless you and Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I'm Alive
A few months ago I wrote a blog called 'Grief and Wonder'. The grief part is weird because I suddenly was hit by another small wave of that tonight. The loss I spoke of in that blog was of a dear friend who was an amazing person, and who is safely in the arms of Jesus now. I know she loves to sing and is probably now worshiping with her beautiful voice for this awesome time of year that represents Christ love that brought her to eternity in heaven.
It was a tragic accident, it still doesn't even seem as if it could be real at times because she was so full of life and always embracing it. Odd how often the people who most grasp how precious life here is are the ones who seem to see to little of it. I still don't understand why things like this happen, but I press on to know more He who does. I believe that He truly does work all things for the good of those who love Him, and yet will continue to see beauty through her short life I was blessed to be part of.
My whole point of this blog though, is that I'm still here. God has a reason for this jar of clay here, I have much to be doing and have received much love that I am supposed to be sharing with a desperate world. This life is just a breath, my friend embraced it and breathed so deeply what she was given. She touched so many peoples lives, she was one of the most caring people I have ever met. My desire and goal is to be a person so alive in body and soul, because this life is so short and how I live now can affect how I and others live out eternity. She lived a life that seemed to me to always reflect joy and love, she spent her few days here very much alive. Tonight I just asked God as I was thinking of her and crying for this loss, 'what?' The answer is: this life is about Love, and I'm alive. For those of us still looking forward to the day we see heaven, we still have a lot to do on this side.
It was a tragic accident, it still doesn't even seem as if it could be real at times because she was so full of life and always embracing it. Odd how often the people who most grasp how precious life here is are the ones who seem to see to little of it. I still don't understand why things like this happen, but I press on to know more He who does. I believe that He truly does work all things for the good of those who love Him, and yet will continue to see beauty through her short life I was blessed to be part of.
My whole point of this blog though, is that I'm still here. God has a reason for this jar of clay here, I have much to be doing and have received much love that I am supposed to be sharing with a desperate world. This life is just a breath, my friend embraced it and breathed so deeply what she was given. She touched so many peoples lives, she was one of the most caring people I have ever met. My desire and goal is to be a person so alive in body and soul, because this life is so short and how I live now can affect how I and others live out eternity. She lived a life that seemed to me to always reflect joy and love, she spent her few days here very much alive. Tonight I just asked God as I was thinking of her and crying for this loss, 'what?' The answer is: this life is about Love, and I'm alive. For those of us still looking forward to the day we see heaven, we still have a lot to do on this side.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Meeting Maggie
So, once again I'm taking this blog back to my China trip. While in Loyang, we went to an orphanage to spend time with the kids there and have a Christmas in July party with them. We spent our few days trying to just love on these kids, give them attention and time while doing 'special' things with them. We took the kids to eat at a KFC and play in the park, just take them out of the orphanage for a while. I'd been told the day before we went out to find two kids to be 'mine' to keep up with as we were out. I'd met a little girl named Maggie and decided I'd try to get to know her and to be one of my kids the next day. It didn't exactly go as I planned, she was pretty shy with me and I was starting to be afraid that I was totally scaring her so I just backed off, hoping someone else would choose her.
The next day we were about to leave and as everyone was taking their child's hands and I still didn't have anyone, the nanny standing nearby put two young girls hands in mine, to my surprise it was Maggie and her friend Abby. Spending the day with those two was so amazing, they taught me to count in Chinese, we laughed and took pictures together, though they rarely ever get to eat out they made sure they never took any food without giving me some. These girls were so awesome, fun and sweet.
Later, when we had been at the orphanage for a while and handed out the Christmas gifts, Maggie took my hand and led me outside to the roof top playground. Everyone else was inside and it was blazing hot out side in the muggy Chinese air. She motioned for me to bend down on her level, took out the little necklace she'd just been given as a Christmas gift, and put it around my neck. It was the best and most heart wrenching gift I've ever received.
For a week after I got home, I couldn't get her out of my mind or what she'd given me. I prayed and prayed about it trying to understand and figure out why this was on my mind constantly. I just felt like I was missing something. What did God want me to learn from this? I wanted a great, final epiphany, something big. As I talked it over and shared what had happened with a friend, she simply said maybe the point and reason was just that I needed to remember and think about what she did, what she gave. This child doesn't have many possessions, no parents, she doesn't even have a soft place to lay. Maggie is an orphan, but she gave to me. I'd come half way around the world to pour myself out and through one little gift I realised just how much I had to learn and that I have so far to go 'till I'm truly pouring my heart out for others. Maggie gave me more than a necklace, she showed me my purpose in this life.
The next day we were about to leave and as everyone was taking their child's hands and I still didn't have anyone, the nanny standing nearby put two young girls hands in mine, to my surprise it was Maggie and her friend Abby. Spending the day with those two was so amazing, they taught me to count in Chinese, we laughed and took pictures together, though they rarely ever get to eat out they made sure they never took any food without giving me some. These girls were so awesome, fun and sweet.
Later, when we had been at the orphanage for a while and handed out the Christmas gifts, Maggie took my hand and led me outside to the roof top playground. Everyone else was inside and it was blazing hot out side in the muggy Chinese air. She motioned for me to bend down on her level, took out the little necklace she'd just been given as a Christmas gift, and put it around my neck. It was the best and most heart wrenching gift I've ever received.
For a week after I got home, I couldn't get her out of my mind or what she'd given me. I prayed and prayed about it trying to understand and figure out why this was on my mind constantly. I just felt like I was missing something. What did God want me to learn from this? I wanted a great, final epiphany, something big. As I talked it over and shared what had happened with a friend, she simply said maybe the point and reason was just that I needed to remember and think about what she did, what she gave. This child doesn't have many possessions, no parents, she doesn't even have a soft place to lay. Maggie is an orphan, but she gave to me. I'd come half way around the world to pour myself out and through one little gift I realised just how much I had to learn and that I have so far to go 'till I'm truly pouring my heart out for others. Maggie gave me more than a necklace, she showed me my purpose in this life.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Will
The first night we were in Guatemala, after the attorney, translator, and foster mother were gone we were finally left alone with the kids for the first time. As it began to get dark and the newness and excitement of the hotel room wore off, the kids became quite scared and were missing their foster family. I can't imagine how afraid they must have been. JoAna began to cry first, but let mom hold her and comfort her. I was holding Will, sitting on the bed where we had been watching TV. He had grown so quiet and still that I thought he was asleep, and I was trying to keep from ‘losing it’ as I listened to JoAna cry. When I looked down at the little guy in my arms, I saw a look on his tiny, young face that seemed to me much in pain, fear, and lost. He didn’t move at all, didn’t try to cuddle or cry on my shoulder, he just lay there silently with tears coming out of his closed eyes. He did this for quite a while as I held him and just prayed as best I could that God would help all of us. As JoAna finally fell asleep he began to cry softly, and as my mom took him and held him he cried out and let her hold him and comfort him.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families....
~Psalm 68:5-6
As our hearts were all breaking, I think God was really opening our hearts to each other through it all and taking us to a new place in His love for us. Though their open, occasionally strong emotions sometimes annoy my more hidden feelings, I am learning so much from their honesty. I have become so much closer to my parents through the adoption and learned to cherish my family and it’s love so much more. God has used the kids to soften and open my heart so much more to allowing other people to love me and to truly love others.
The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all: he has compassion on all he has made.... Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
~ Psalm 145:8-9,13-14
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families....
~Psalm 68:5-6
As our hearts were all breaking, I think God was really opening our hearts to each other through it all and taking us to a new place in His love for us. Though their open, occasionally strong emotions sometimes annoy my more hidden feelings, I am learning so much from their honesty. I have become so much closer to my parents through the adoption and learned to cherish my family and it’s love so much more. God has used the kids to soften and open my heart so much more to allowing other people to love me and to truly love others.
The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all: he has compassion on all he has made.... Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
~ Psalm 145:8-9,13-14
Monday, December 1, 2008
Christmas and the kids
It is the first day of December and I am having a pretty awesome day. My dad was playing Christmas songs on his guitar and singing this morning before work, it was an awesome way to start our day! I am sooo in the holiday spirit already, I feel like a little elf, already so giddy about the season. I even made Christmas cookies today, (maybe I should take some before and after pics of this holiday season, I'm pretty sure I could look quite different if things keep going like this! haha) Everything is already getting quite busy, Christmas program practices, family holiday trips (yay!!) and another wonderful ACT coming up and everything else. I'm so excited though, it's Christmas time, loving all the yummy foods and cheesy TV specials.
So, my little brother really loves our pastor and going to church and therefore likes to play 'church' sometimes and like he is the pastor. One day he was sitting up at the table while mom was cooking dinner and had his little Bible out 'preaching.' His message was something like this, 'We must obey God, we MUST obey God. So if mommy or daddy tells you to go lay down, but God says "get up and go play outside" you have to go play.' So clever already.
Joji is absolutely adorable, very.... spirited I suppose you could say, but kind off in her own little world a lot of the time. I call her butterfly cause she's so cute and kind of always all about and running around. She talks constantly and even if there aren't people around to listen she doesn't care, she just talks or as I caught her doing the other day, will pull off a shoe or find some random something she thinks will listen. Anyway, there's a bit about the kids.
Merry Christmas!!!
So, my little brother really loves our pastor and going to church and therefore likes to play 'church' sometimes and like he is the pastor. One day he was sitting up at the table while mom was cooking dinner and had his little Bible out 'preaching.' His message was something like this, 'We must obey God, we MUST obey God. So if mommy or daddy tells you to go lay down, but God says "get up and go play outside" you have to go play.' So clever already.
Joji is absolutely adorable, very.... spirited I suppose you could say, but kind off in her own little world a lot of the time. I call her butterfly cause she's so cute and kind of always all about and running around. She talks constantly and even if there aren't people around to listen she doesn't care, she just talks or as I caught her doing the other day, will pull off a shoe or find some random something she thinks will listen. Anyway, there's a bit about the kids.
Merry Christmas!!!
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