Love

Funny how I could go so far in my life as a 'Christian' but still lack the very foundation of my faith, love. It wasn't 'till the past few years that I really began to grasp love. God's love for me, loving him and also loving others as he does. Each of us have a longing in our soul for something more than what we are born into, and it's love. And when a person wakes up to that realisation of what it's missing, they chase it and find it whatever the cost. So that's what I want to write about tonight.

People weren't created merely to exist, and those who are Christians aren't saved by Christ just to hold their little salvation ticket in their pocket 'till the end of time. So why does our world look more and more like that's what it's all about? When I step back and look at life, and wonder over 'why' and the purpose of it, it doesn't take long to realise that without love it's all worthless. But in a world where people say 'love' more in reference to a cute hand bag or feeling a bit of lust, where charismatic words to love others are often followed by little reaction to thoughts and tears of compassion, how do we know what love even is? Is it something you fall into, or something that you chose to consume every bit of who you are? Is it real for the length of an emotional moment, or is it something that never ends, that toughs it out through every tear, smile, fight, and fear? Could it be that love is more than we've estimated, that we've watered it down to definitions and emotions so we can be more comfortable with it, to where we can understand and calculate it, to the point where it's simply human in our minds?

I believe it's something greater than what the human mind can even comprehend, but the longing of each soul that can never be fulfilled by anything else. I believe love is the only thing that holds the fighting and distanced family together, I believe love is the only thing that overcomes addictions, I believe love is the only way to end poverty, I believe love is the only thing that takes broken, wandering hearts and shows them purpose and truth in this often dark world. But how do we get that? This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.... This is love:not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 3:16a, 4:10
How do we love when it's been a mere word and feeling to us our whole lives?
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

Love is more than a word, it's more than a feeling, it's more than something that just happens or that you fall into for a while, it is the only thing that can pull our world out of it's self destroying cycle. Love, let's invite it into the deepest places of our hearts and souls, let us take what we've been given and run to the farthest corners of this world, to the beggar down the street and the widow next door. We are here for so much more than just this life. Love, it's what we are created for.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16

Waking Up in a New Year

We go through phases and that's good, different phases, trials and challenges help us grow as long as we're going through them and not getting stuck or too comfortable in them. But I've gotta say that there are some phases I dearly hate going through. Like the ones where emotion runs dry, energy is just a memory and spiritually you have to fight laziness like crazy when you're so subconscious you barely realise it. Yes, that's obviously a phase I just went through again. I was so tired of trying to press after God and feeling nothing in return, when all the while I knew it wasn't about what I was feeling but wanting that emotional hype anyway. In all honesty I was getting very lazy, slipping on time in the Bible and prayer, letting my mind wander aimlessly over every shallow and worthless thing it could find. It's in these phases where I really learn if, or how much, I truly want more of God. The hard part is realising how easy it is to let other things get between me and him so quickly, keeping up perseverance and a desire for more of his heart is something I often fail in if the timing and 'mood' isn't just right. It's like I expect there to be that perfect soft lighting and powerful worship music and scripture glowing on the pages, then I'm great and I can do it. But if he doesn't have everything set in my life just perfectly then I'm out, I can't even follow him for a day.
Then after a bit it hits me, 'I'm really messing this up, what am I doing here?' I know I say this so much lately, but life is just a breath and we need to really live it. So I began to just lay it out there with God, 'I don't feel you here right now, I don't really have the physical energy right now but I still know I need you so much and I want you. I want closer to your heart.' God is faithful to our prayers! He answers us when we cry to him.
"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." Psalm 91:14
This verse just really got to me last night, if I love, rely and acknowledge him, God's going to be there for me. It isn't always how or when I expect, but he is faithfully there to rescue me from those spiritual deserts, to lift me up and give me yet another reason to rejoice in him. I just woke up in a new year with a reawakening to pursue my Lord's heart and desires for this world and I couldn't be more excited about it! Always persevere and chase his heart.

My 'Wonderful' New Year's Eve

Ahh New Year's Eve, hanging out with life long friends, all reminiscing over the past year and all we've made it through. Laughing, talking, having a great time, eating together. At least that's what I'd had in mind when several of us from our churches youth group all went to my youth leaders house last night. It didn't turn out quite how I'd imagined. Our youth leader ended up sending us on a 'scavenger hunt' where I ended up running through peoples yards trying to pet a goat, I had to ride a toddler jeep around a house twice and saw a man digging through the trash to find us a cup of dryer lint. But the best part of the night was definitely my friends little dog throwing up all over me in the car, yeah, what a way to start out the New Year! It was girls vs. guys and we ended up losing the stupid competition too. Then add being single into the mix of being with a bunch of fighting teen couples, oh the joy. Anyway, it wasn't the greatest New Years I've had but I'm really excited about 2009! 2008 brought a lot of changes and challenges my way and I'm hoping there's even more this year, I can't wait to see what God has for us in this new year.