On being an older sibling

I've been writing tonight about confrontation on my other blog, http://tobearlovesheart.blogspot.com . So there's that! If you read it, grab some popcorn or coffee or something first, it's a bit lengthy. (makes sheepish face here)

I'm really tired but have had a pretty good day, it's been super crazy as my older brother has come in for the night and there's been plenty of madness and I'll be honest, for a while tonight I was feeling a bit like 'I'm gonna go crazy if I don't have some privacy and silence for a minute.' But all is well, very well. My family is very crazy and the little ones seem to be every where you'd prefer them not to be at once sometimes but it's awesome to be surrounded by all the liveliness. I'm just quite the introvert most of the time on my own but thank God they don't allow for too much of that! I know we took them out of poverty through adoption but the ways they've changed just me alone has been truly amazing. Being a big sister has been good and challenging for me, even though it's madness here I love it and who loving them is making me to be. Their little lives are basically just waking up to this constant reminder every day that God is who he said he is, that he heals and restores, he lifts the needy from the ash heap, he sets the lonely in families.

I was just thinking I wonder what I used to do all the time before the kids came, then I remember a lot of days sitting on my bed blankly turning through magazines or staring into a TV for forever, playing my guitar with no one but me hearing or moving to the sounds. Now I have these little people who want to run in and rip the book from my hands and have me check out the groovy new face they learned to make, or who ask a million questions about the movie on, or who come in and start a dance party in my room when they hear the guitar being strummed. It's frustrating sometimes, especially when I'm at such a hectic and unsure place in my life to have them running about. But the bit of love I'm able to give them reminds me how much greater the Father's love for us, the way we adopted them reminds me how God adopted me and how insanely they fit into our family just right reminds me of my place in my Father's eyes. In the extra chaos they create they also create a reminder that this life is not just about me and that God is holding every bit of this in His loving arms.