So, last night it was really late and I'd had a long day and my thoughts were very scattered when they were coming so hopefully I can sort through, remember and re-attempt at posting them today. OK, let's see.......
Girls talk about everything pretty much all the time, but guys have got to be one of the most talked about of all, and maybe shoes. But mostly guys. Even though I'm single and love it, I end up in the never ending guy talk constantly. Last night I was thinking about some of the expectations and opinions on guys and dating that I've heard. I've heard girls say that every guy is into drinking and partying and such, so that was all that was expected from them and was accepted. I've seen girls who stay with guys who practically walk all over them or neglect but are afraid they won't find anyone else, so they stay with them. Then I think about those guys, and we all know a few of those guys. They cheat, manipulate, and are some how with the few girls who are as close to saints as you can get.
As I see all this messed up 'love' around the people I've known I just wonder 'why?' Why are so many girls, and guys, in bad relationships when they deserve much better? I understand loving some one, but not really wanting to be trampled on. Even if I do love and care about some one who doesn't treat me right I generally avoid any situation with them that would make that easier for them to hurt me. Maybe I'm a bit crazy though as it seems to be the thing to do, I'm the single one so what do I know? Anyway....
So I was thinking about how people could be so unfair to those who love them so much. And I thought last night, about how so many people can't see how precious and unique they are, how much they need to be truly loved. Then I thought about my God. I realise that so many times, I'm just like the guys who break my friends hearts. I'm the one who tells him he is everything to me and can't even remember to acknowledge him in my life ten minutes later. Then I think about how I view my friends, how I know how unique and fun and bright each one is, how through God I have and am learning how precious each one is through him. Then I think about how much more God must see me that way. Then I think about things a different way again and I'm like that loser boyfriend I've met too many times, and I can't keep my heart focused on him, I'm distracted and chasing after other people or things before him. I think about how much it hurts my friends and me to see someone lie to you and turn their back on you, and I think about how many times I've done that to my Savior.
Then an old truth that I've know for a long time suddenly becomes so much more personal and real to me than ever before. God is worth my attention, he's worth pressing in a bit more to hear his words, holding on for a while 'till he's ready to speak. He is worth waiting for, he's worth living and dying for. He is more than worthy of having all of me. And I don't really know why (except that his love is crazy out of this world for me) that he would give his perfect, only Son for me to be washed clean of all I've done and will do wrong. But I know that through grace God can see me as his child and I can know his love. Without him I know that I'm totally lost and worthy of nothing, and still so many times I stumble away from him, but I'm so thankful for his love that gives me purpose and life.
This Valentine's Day please remember how unworthy we were,and often still are, but that the grace that we've been given has made us precious in his sight. Let's remember how worthy of attention God is, how worthy of praise he is, how worthy of devotion he is. And let's strive to live in a way that shows him that we love and know him to be more than worthy of what we can only give through what we were first given.
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